


Years Into Eternity

by kamidontarchive



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon, Drama, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-03-23
Updated: 2005-03-25
Packaged: 2018-12-27 02:51:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12072096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kamidontarchive/pseuds/kamidontarchive
Summary: A walk through the lives of Brian and Justin... five years at a time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

5 Years Old…

 

The playground was moving with children and the sun was shining hot and bright in the sky. The Ice Cream man was ringing his bell and parents were coating their kids in sun block as they tried to rush out the door into the freedom of summer. Babysitters and stay-at home moms lined the benches along with knapsacks and thermoses filled with water, kool-aid and enough snacks to feed armies. All of the mothers talked and all the children played together, digging holes in the sand and trying to be the first to climb up the slide backwards instead of sliding down. It was Perfect Ville, USA and the Kinney family was new in town. 

The blond haired boy with the bright smile and the crystal blue eyes was the only one who dared or even cared to approach the new kid who sat alone in a corner of the playground. He was sitting on a swing that was a part of the old playground equipment, long ago rusted, abandoned and forgotten. He let the swing move slightly back and forth as his sneaker sheathed foot traced maps and trails to places unknown in the sand and dirt below. 

He saw the shadow pass in front of him and he looked up with only his eyes, taking in the person and deeming him harmless. “What’s your name?” The blond asked as he sat in the only other swing that hung from the old contraption. The brunet kicked aimlessly at a dirt wad, trying to send it sailing. He stopped trying and finally smashed it, releasing a miniscule dust storm into the heated air.

“Brian,” the quiet boy answered. 

“Well, my name’s Justin,” the blond said as he pushed off from the dirt and propelled his swing higher and higher into the air. “You know…what’s…cool?” Justin asked as he whizzed back and forth, slicing through the air. Brian looked at him and shook his head a little bit.

“No…what’s cool?” Brian asked. Justin jumped off of his swing while it was in mid-swing and landed on the ground. Brian smiled and laughed and Justin grabbed his hand. 

“Come on, I’ll show you,” Justin said as he led Brian through the playground and over to his mother. “Look, that’s what’s cool,” Justin said as he bent next to his mom and started to pet his puppy. Brian sat in the grass next to him and stroked the puppy’s head.

“What’s his name?” Brian asked as he played with the puppy. Justin pulled out a ball from his mom’s bag and answered him.

“I just call him puppy,” Justin said as they took the ball and the puppy and went to play catch. An hour later it was time for Justin to go home. He wrote down his number in big sloppy numbers and gave it to Brian. Brian did the same and slid the paper the Justin gave him into his pocket. Justin latched onto his mother’s hand and started to walk away before he turned back to Brian.

“You’re my best friend right?” Justin called out to the brunet boy. The sun kissed Brian’s cheeks and they flushed red with the need to be cooled down. He smelled like dirt, puppy, grass and kids and he had never been happier in his life.

“Yeah,” Brian answered. He turned around and headed back toward his house.

 

10 Years Old…

“Come on Brian,” Justin yelled from the driveway. He was already irritated and he knew that the teacher said they couldn’t be late anymore. He sat up straight on his bike and adjusted the straps of his book bag.

“Relax…jeez,” Brian said as he came out the front door and slammed it closed behind him. He moved to the garage and pulled it open to get his bike. He pulled it from its spot in the corner and threw his book bag on his back. “What’s the hurry?” Brian asked as he hopped on his bike and started down the driveway, waiting for Justin to catch up. They were halfway down the sidewalk when the front door flew open.

“Make sure you have your ass back here when I get home from work. Do you hear me? Brian, do you hear me?” Jack Kinney screamed as he slammed the front door and started walking to his car.

“Yes, I hear you,” Brian screamed over his shoulder as he sped up and away from the house. The two friends rode in silence. Brian slowed down a little after the initial embarrassment and anger had worn off a bit. Justin slowed his pace to match his friends, offering him his presence and silent understanding. In all the five years that they had known each other Brian had never been big on words. Justin understood and didn’t push, he didn’t have to. You didn’t have to push for words when black and blue marks kissed the skin of your best friend more often than not. “I don’t even know why they bothered to have me at all,” Brian said.

Justin stopped peddling and so did Brian. “Don’t say stuff like that Brian. I am glad they had you,” Justin said as the two of them stood straddling their bikes less than a block from their school. 

“You’re my best friend, you have to say stuff like that,” Brian said as he stared into and beyond the expansive blue orbs that burned sincerity into him.

“No, I say it because it’s true,” Justin said as the hazel eyes sliced through his heart and asked for all his secrets. He leaned forward and faster than they both could process placed a kiss on the side of Brian’s face. Brian bit back the smile that wanted to come out.

“Come on…we gotta get to school, we’re not supposed to be late anymore,” Brian said as the flood of new emotions coursed through his body. He didn’t know a lot about the things that two people did together but he knew that he liked the kiss that Justin had placed on his cheek. It made him… _feel._

“Okay,” Justin said as the mixture of joy and trepidation fused and melted together as it coursed through his being, pumping in time to the beat of his heart. They rode the rest of the way together but lost in themselves. They knew so much about themselves and in one fluid moment everything that they were certain of was cast into a shadow of doubt and mystery.

They reached the brick building that was to be their prison for the day and they moved toward it with stealth and purpose. They got off their bikes and Justin secured his to the bike rack. Brian pulled the lock from his pocket and did the same to his bike, locking it in place next to Justin’s. “Are you ready for that test that Mr. Williamson is giving for science?” Justin asked. He felt like he had to say something, anything to dislodge the lump that had wedged itself in his throat.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Brian said. “I’m always ready,” he said with a happy smile. He _was_ always ready, and for the courses and journeys in his life he would have to be. Justin smiled and they moved off together, the journey and the outcome uncertain and unknown.

 

15 Years Old…

“I fucked him,” Brian said as he sat on the swings that had long ago been established as their place to meet. Justin sat next to him, swinging hard and fast like he always did. 

“You did not,” Justin said as he flung his head back and looked at the world upside down. Brian pressed down on the blue and black bruise on his arm and winced in pain. Justin dragged his feet in the dirt, slowing down his swing and stopping. He stretched over to see the bruise for the umpteenth time. “Stop fucking pressing on it,” he said as he let his swing go back to its rightful state.

“It fucking hurts, and I did fuck him,” Brian said as he pulled a cigarette from behind his ear and lit it. He blew the smoke out and into the air before handing the cigarette to Justin. He turned his head up to the night sky and looked at the stars. Justin handed the cigarette back and blew his smoke out, forcing it to fight for space and mix with Brian’s as it folded into the sky and disappeared.

“What did he hit you for this time?” Justin asked. He was not going to acknowledge the sexual conquest that Brian wanted to tell him about. For him it was better to pretend that it never happened at all. He felt the feelings for Brian swirling somewhere inside him and he swallowed them away like he did, and had done, everyday since that day 5 years ago. 

“Who in the fuck knows? ...being born,” Brian suggested as Justin gave the cigarette back. Brian took it from his outstretched hands and pulled it into his lips. He knew that Justin hated to hear about his sexual encounters and he knew that he was jealous. Brian never said anything or acted on the feelings that also coursed through him, but he felt them. Whenever he was around Justin his heart beat faster, his skin got warmer and his blood seemed to pay a little more attention to his cock. 

“That’s what you always say,” Justin said as he reached into his pocket and retrieved the ball that he always carried around. It was 10 years old and worn but puppy loved it, even though he had long ago stopped being a puppy. He threw the ball and the dog happily ran off to retrieve it, guided by the moonlight.

“And it’s usually always the real reason,” Brian said as he threw the cigarette onto the ground, mixing it with the many others that peppered their area. Brian knew that Justin knew all the reasons and excuses that fueled Jack’s rages. He knew he didn’t have to explain. Justin sat down on Brian’s lap as he sat on the swing and let Brian move them back and forth slowly. They both felt the heat and electricity as it coursed through their bodies, unspoken and resounding. They had discovered their sexuality together and were both comfortable with it.

Justin felt the hardness of his best friend growing and yearning for him under the layer of denim that surrounded it and held it prisoner. He felt his face flush and come alive again as the blood traveled to the surface of his skin and dropped away again. He heard Brian moan and arch up and into him on pure reflex and desire. He put his hands down and gripped the thighs that flexed as the swing moved slowly back and forth. Brian reached his hands up and smothered the smooth hands of his best friend in his. Justin bit down onto his bottom lip as Brian stilled their movements. “We can’t do this Justin,” Brian said, lust, passion, sexual frustration and a raging hard-on all betrayed his meaningless revelation.

“Why not Brian...why can’t we do it?” Justin asked. He was on the edge of reality and wanted nothing more than to pass into wanton sexual waters to wade, bask and eventually drown in their expanse. 

“Because… friends… don’t fuck friends,” Brian offered weakly. “It’s the third rule of gay etiquette,” he finished.

 

20 Years Old…

“I cannot believe that you still like doing this,” Brian said as he lit a joint and pulled the heavy smoke into his lungs. Justin took the joint from between the lips that he so longed to ravage. Justin pulled the smoke into his lungs and held it in, feeling the clouds rush into his head as reason and logic took a backseat to openness and wanting. 

“It’s fun. You get to watch the planes fly over you, so close that you’ll almost swear that it is your last few seconds on earth,” Justin said as another plane flew over head, landing on the runway in front of them. Justin turned to look at his friend and wondered when he could expect something more. 

Two years of college had passed and the reputation of Brian Kinney was growing and twisting, snaking its way into the minds of the countless fags on Liberty Avenue, the gay street that had become their sanctuary.

“If you say so sunshine,” Brian said as he closed his eyes and rested his hands under his head for support. Justin scooted closer to him and trailed a hand over the smooth muscles that lived within the person he loved more than himself. Brian felt his cock stir at the feeling of the warm hand moving over his chest. The cool air of the spring night and the warm hand that was pressing into him made him shift slightly. He grabbed Justin’s hand and stopped the movements. “Justin, I told you…friends don’t fuck…” Brian said. Justin cut him off with the warmth of his mouth.

“Fuck…that,” Justin said as he breathed in deeply and ran his tongue over the swollen muscle that dueled for dominance with his. He closed his lips around it and sucked until his mind separated from his body. He pulled back from Brian and saw the lust and haze that clouded the hazel prisons. They stared into and through each other, daring, wanting, wishing for the strength to call it off but it wasn’t there. Justin felt Brian’s hand creep into his hair and around the back of his neck, pulling him close. They pressed their lips together and let go. 

Justin swung his legs over Brian’s thin, taller frame and resumed their frenzied kissing, their bodies involuntarily humping into each other, rubbing their swollen cocks together. Brian reached his hands in between them where they tangled with Justin’s as they each fought to undo each other’s jeans. Brian ripped the shirt from Justin’s body and used his stronger body to flip them over. 

Justin’s back smacked into the metal of the car hood. He arched into Brian and let out a loud sigh as his warmed skin made contact with the cold hood. Brian pulled at the shoes and ankles of Justin’s pants and ripped them off as he struggled out of his own clothes with Justin’s help. “Fuck me… fuck me,” Justin panted as they ground their dicks together. 

Pre cum drizzled from the tips of both their swollen members, trailing secrets and desires down their shafts and onto the hood of the car, gleaming in the moonlight. Brian felt for his pants and grabbed a condom from the pocket before they committed suicide and fell off the hood of the car. He put the condom above Justin’s head and stuck his fingers into Justin’s mouth, “Suck them,” Brian said. 

Justin quickly complied and took the offered fingers into his mouth, coating them with his slick spit and getting them ready. “That’s right,” Brian said through baited breaths. “Get ‘em wet…UH, UH, UH, get ‘em wet,” he panted as Justin stroked his hardened, leaking member. 

He pulled his fingers from Justin’s mouth when the urge to cum was too much. Justin groaned when the fingers retreated and unconsciously opened his legs all the way. Brian dropped down fully on top of him and reached his hands between Justin’s legs, probing his hole and slipping a slick finger inside. “Brian… Oh my gooooooooooood,” Justin screamed as Brian slipped in another finger and probed deeper, grazing his prostate and causing his cock to gorge and throb even more as he sought release.

“You’re so tight,” Brian said. The realization hit him that he was Justin’s first and he picked up his pace as he fucked his fingers roughly into the tight cavern. Justin arced and bucked off the hood with the ministrations and when Brian felt his own need overtaking him he pulled his fingers from the channel. 

Brian grabbed the condom and ripped into the package, rolling it on. He gathered the pre cum that was drizzling like rain from Justin’s hard cock on his fingers and spread it over the waiting and wanting rosebud that was about to be marked and claimed as his. 

 

Brian pressed the head of his cock to the opening of Justin’s tight channel and pushed forward. He bit down on the skin of Justin’s neck as the head of his dick passed the first ring of muscle. Justin screamed into the night and Brian slid his fingers, coated with Justin’s own cum into his panting mouth. The blond sucked feverishly on the offered treat as Brian started to slowly pull out. 

He rested the head of his cock at the opening of Justin’s chute and right before the blond relaxed he pushed home again. “UH, UH, UH, UH, UH,” Justin panted as Brian picked up his pace and slammed home again and again.

Justin bucked into him, raising his ass to meet Brian on every return thrust, demanding more. The sound of the hood crunching and denting was vague and distant in the minds of them both. “UGH, UGH, UGH,” Brian grunted as Justin reached his hands around him and gripped the backs of his thighs, pulling him closer and urging him deeper. Brian pulled back and raised Justin’s legs onto his shoulders, slamming back in and picking up the pace as he felt his balls begin to tingle. 

Justin took it all, long and deep, moaning and wanting more as Brian slammed into him. “Jus…Justin…Justin, I’m gonna cum...I’m…gon…na…cum,” Brian said as he pounded into the writhing blond. Whimpers and pants were all that came out of Justin as Brian pounded into him. 

Justin felt his body tighten and then lose its muscle as his body became liquid. His orgasm washed over him, bathing him and Brian in his warm seed. His body clamped down on Brian and brought him over the edge. Brian filled the condom to capacity and collapsed on top of Justin, exhausted and wanting more…so much more.

“That…was…amazing,” Brian breathed into Justin’s neck as he sucked on the reddened flesh while he rode his post orgasmic high. 

“Yeah,” Justin said as his fingers gripped Brian’s back. They lay there on top of each other… waiting for the other to speak. 

“I think we killed the hood of my car,” Brian said. Justin laughed as his hands traced circles over the cooling skin of the man on top of him.

* * *

AN: Thanks to my beta Carly. She thought it was the end AHHHHH HAHAHAHA, its not. Also, thanks to Carly for the help with the title. Thanks to Britt… who’s dirty conduct in the chat room last night (for which we got kicked out *high five*) helped me write the sex part. Thanks.


	2. Years Into Eternity

25 Years Old…

 

“You look fine,” Brian said as Justin changed his shirt and pants for the fourth time, effectively putting back on the same outfit that he had changed out of earlier. “If you keep changing it won’t matter what you look like because you would have missed the appointment,” Brian told him. Justin came out of the bedroom and walked over to the taller man so that he could tie his tie, again. 

“It’s my first interview. Just think… a real job, with a real salary,” Justin said as he shuddered and thought of all the years he had spent at the diner working for tips and picking up dirty dishes. Brian finished tying the tie and let his hands smooth over Justin’s shirt and rest on his arms. Brian gripped his arms tightly and pressed a heated kiss to the blond’s lips.

“You’re gonna do great,” Brian said calmly as he placed another firm kiss to Justin’s lips. Brian pushed as much confidence into the shorter man as he possibly could. It had been five years and counting since that first time. Their friendship, love and bond seemed to weather the change in their relationship with ease. But the veil of happiness does not always conceal its secrets. Justin accepted the kiss from his long time love… and lover but he could also sense and taste more.

The bodies, tastes, names and faces of the countless tricks that Brian _shamelessly_ conquered behind Justin’s back crept under the blond’s skin and ate away at his heart. Brian pulled away from Justin and looked into his eyes. “I better go or I’ll be late,” Justin said as he walked over to the kitchen counter, grabbed his bag and slid the door to their loft open and walked out.

**

Brian ripped the shirt off of the tall brown haired man as they walked out of the elevator and pushed up against the loft door. Brian fumbled for his keys, never breaking the lock he had on the unknown man’s swollen lips. He got the key in the lock and slid the door open. In no time they crossed the wooden floor. Brian pushed the man back onto the bed and lay on top of him. “Do you have a boyfriend?” The trick asked as he looked over and saw numerous pictures of Brian and Justin together.

“Do you care?” Brian asked, never answering the question. The trick shook his head no and started to undress. Brian stood up and started to do the same, peeling the clothes from his body with all the lust and desire that he contained. He pulled a condom from the jar that they kept on the side of the bed as the trick flipped him over and slinked down his body, capturing Brian’s cock in his moist mouth. Brian writhed in ecstasy on the bed as the trick took his length into the back of his throat, relaxing his muscles and swallowing. 

“Fuck me,” the trick said as he released Brian’s cock from his wonderful torture chamber.

“You didn’t even have to ask,” Brian said as he pushed the trick over onto his back and got on top of him.

**

“So sweetie, how’d the interview go?” Emmett asked as they sat at Woody’s. Justin and Brian had met Emmett, Michael, Ted, Melanie, Lindsay and Ben while they were in college and the small mixed group had fast become close friends. Justin sipped on his drink and looked over at Emmett.

“I think it went pretty good. They loved my art work and they said I had the job… so I guess that’s pretty good,” Justin said. Emmett caught onto what Justin had just said and started to jump up and down, clapping for him.

“Oh sweetie, that’s great,” Emmett said as he pulled Justin into a hug and kissed his cheek. The rest of the gang was too engrossed in Melanie winning the pool game against the boys to pay attention to the conversation that the two men leaning against the bar were having. “But that’s not what has the wheels in that head turning like crazy,” Emmett said as he grasped onto Justin’s hand and pulled him away from the gang and into a booth in the back of the bar. “What’s wrong?” Emmett asked the blond. Justin dropped the false smile and cheerfulness that he had plastered on his face when he walked into the bar and saw his friends.

Tears trailed down his face and he wiped them away from his eyes and off his cheeks with silent anger and embarrassment. “He is fucking around on me,” Justin said softly as he looked around to see how many people had heard his admission. “It’s been going on for a while now. I thought I could handle this Em… I really did, but I can’t,” Justin said as he looked up into Emmett’s eyes. “I just think I deserve for him to tell me…” Justin started and stopped himself. He grabbed his bag and slide out of the booth. Emmett was not the person who he needed to be having this conversation with. He needed to talk to Brian.

“Where are you going?” Emmett asked as Justin got up. 

“I am going to talk to Brian. I deserve to be respected and loved enough for him to tell me what he wants,” Justin said as he walked out of Woody’s.

**

Justin slid the loft door open and the smell of sex assaulted his senses. He walked further into the loft and dropped his bag onto the floor behind the sofa. “Asshole, you fucking asshole,” Justin breathed out. His voice was barely above a whisper but Brian felt it, it crawled up his spine and rested on the side of his heart. Brian stilled his movements and turned to look at Justin. He locked eyes with Justin and watched as all the respect washed out of him. 

“Justin,” Brian said but the blond was already shutting the loft door behind him. Brian told the trick to get out and as the quiet of the loft washed over him he felt drained, he felt empty, he felt… numb.

“Fuck… SHIT,” Brian said as he watched the loft door hoping that the blond would come back.

 

30 Years Old…

“Cynthia, bring me the boards for the new Luster’s campaign,” Brian said into the intercom. Cynthia came in with the boards and placed them on the stands in Brian’s office.

“Brian, there is someone outside who says that they know you,” Cynthia said as she placed the smaller copies on his desk. Brian looked at her in confusion and told her to tell the person to come in. Brian felt the air still in his throat as Justin walked through the door. Justin was older, he was more accomplished, he was talented and he was miserable.

“Brian,” Justin said as he stood just on the inside of the door. Brian rose to his feet and walked over to Justin. They could feel each other’s heat as it bounced in the space between their two bodies. Brian placed his fingers up to Justin’s mouth gently as a smile spread across his face.

“I missed you sunshine,” Brian said. Tears swelled in Justin’s eyes and traveled down his cheeks. “I should have never let you go,” he finished. Brian knew that his own eyes were blocked with tears but he could see Justin clearly, he always could; even when he wasn’t there. Justin lived in his heart. 

“I love you,” Justin breathed out as his tears took on a mind of their own. He launched himself into Brian’s arms and buried his face into the strong man that he knew so well. “I never stopped loving you… or needing you,” Justin said as Brian placed his lips onto the ones he had yearned for.

* * *

I love my beta, she so rocks. Thanks Carly.


End file.
